everything you need to know about wedding rituals
So, you’re planning your wedding and your celebrant asks you if you’d like to incorporate any rituals into your ceremony, and you’re left wondering if you’ve accidentally appointed the head of a cult to lead your ceremony.
Fear not, we come in peace, with our ribbons and candles at the ready.
It’s actually all very wholesome, no cults involved – promise!
Basically wedding rituals are all about adding a more visual poetic feature to enhance the essence of your special day. There is quite an extensive menu on offer, and, as with everything, it may not all be to your taste, but there may be one in particular that has just the flavour that you’re looking for.
So here is your taster menu…
Ring Warming
The ‘Ring Warming’ ritual is my own personal favourite. It’s simple and understated, yet loaded with beautiful and heartfelt meaning.
As the ceremony begins, your wedding rings are place in a small velvet pouch, and your celebrant will explain to your guests all about what is about to happen. They will explain how the warmth and love that the presence of your attendees holds on your special day, and how happy you as a couple are that they are all here. To symbolise this, and to fill your rings with all that warm and love, the celebrant will send the velvet pouch around the room, and it will be passed from person to person throughout the ceremony, and the warmth of their hands will both literally and symbolically warm your rings, so that by the time the rings are needed for the ring exchange part of the ceremony, they have been warmed by every attendee’s hands and hearts.
Hand Fasting
The ‘Hand Fasting’ ceremony is a Celtic tradition dating back to the 1700s, whereby the couple stand facing each other and hold one of each other’s hands, intertwining their fingers so that their wrists are pulse to pulse. This creates a physical infinity symbol with your bodies, which of course symbolises your unity as a couple, as two bodies, but one heart.
Your hands and wrists are then wrapped in ribbons (usually between 3-6 ribbons), and this can be done by your celebrant, or you can nominate significant people within your wedding party to do this.
(Rest assured, we will nominate them ahead of time, and everyone will get a tutorial in how to do this, so that everyone feels comfortable and confident on the day!)
You can choose ribbons with certain colours or patterns that are significant or important to you, or you can go traditional and choose the colour of ribbons that hold Celtic meanings that resonate with you such a health, fertility and passion to name a few. Or you can make your own ribbons out of materials such as t-shirts, curtains, clothes that hold sentimental value. One groom used material from one of his dad’s shirts to make a ribbon, as his dad had passed away before being able to attend the ceremony, so it was a very personal way of including and honouring his dad during the ceremony. Once your hands are fastened, you can release each other’s hands and you will have the beautiful plait of ribbons to have as a keepsake from that moment in your ceremony, which some couple choose to be framed, or to hang on their marital bedroom door for good luck.
Sand Ceremony
The ‘Sand Ceremony’ ritual consists of mixing together grains of sand, usually into glass container during a section of your ceremony.
It represents that even in marriage, two individuals exist, represented by the different sands you each bring to pour, it represents you as a whole yourself – your passions, history, personality and essence, which you are choosing to blend with your partner.
You will each bring your own selves to the marriage, making a more diverse and resilient sediment which is stronger together.
The sand can be different colours, or you can source the sand from the places you are each from originally, or perhaps from places that feature in your love story. The poetry lies in the fact that the grains of sand are mixed together and can never be separated, so it highlights your choice to blend your lives together forever. It can be just you each as a couple pouring sand, or it can also be a lovely way to incorporate other significant people in your lives. For example, if you are blending families and each have children from former relationships, then it can be a lovely visual tribute to signify the unity of your family, forever intertwined as one. It is a lovely keepsake from your special day and can be kept and displayed as an ornament in your home.
Unity Candle Ceremony
The ‘Unity Candle’ ritual is where light is passed from taper candle to taper candle, all stemming from one singular flame. It represents a shared light and energy, and can be a lovely way to include significant people in your lives.
One candle is lit, which lights another candle, that candle which just received the flame lights another and so on, and then all involved light a central pillar candle together, which shows their support of the marriage and their commitment to doing all they can to support and protect the strength of the flame and keep it’s light alive.
Some nice ideas could be to have the central pillar candle personalised with the couple’s names and the date of their wedding, and perhaps throughout this very visual ritual, a piece of music could be played or a poem could be read to accompany it.
Please note that this ritual does have a certain level of safety awareness needed, and whilst it can be lovely to include children in this ritual, I would suggest that only children aged 8 and above are included, and of course accompanied by an adult who can supervise.
Jumping The Broom
The ‘Jumping The Broom’ tradition is said to have its origins in both Celtic and West African culture, and symbolises a new beginning. It is also said to signify two families becoming one. After completing your wedding vows, you hold hands, close your eyes and jump over the broom together into your new life, signifying the sweeping away of the past and leaving any old uncertainties behind. But best of all this is one ritual all your guests can get involved in. After your exit following your ceremony, the broom can be placed at the exit threshold, and all your guests can jump over the broom and join you in the new chapter of your relationship, plus this makes for some really fun wedding photos! You can personalise the broom itself by tying some colourful ribbon around it to decorate it, or perhaps one step further could include asking wedding guests to write their names on the ribbon during the reception, so you can keep it as a keepsake and remember who was there to watch you sweep away the past and quite literally jump into the future together!
Tree Planting
The ‘Tree Planting’ ritual is a lovely component to include in your ceremony, especially if the venue of your ceremony is on a family farm or on your own property.
You can plant a tree as a part of your ceremony to signify the laying down of roots and the bloom that your marriage will bring over time. This has lots of beautiful meaning attached of roots intertwining, the prospect of a strong tree growing and blooming in all the seasons of your love, and the acknowledgement that nothing grows and flourishes without the care and attention of watering it on a daily basis. You could go a step further and involve your attendees by giving them all a shot glass of water to each pour over the seedling once its planted, this can signify them pouring all their warmth, love and well wishes in support of the growth and development of your marriage.
This is a wonderful physical representation and an amazing and evolving keepsake to watch grow and develop in front of your eyes over the years to come.
Love Letter Time Capsule
The ‘Love Letter Time Capsule’ is a lovely one, and can be a part of your ceremony including just you as a couple, or can also involve attendees and/or significant people if you like as well.
This involves the couple writing each other a hand written love letter, expressing how you feel in the run up to your wedding, your feelings about getting married and your feelings towards each other. You write this ahead of the wedding day itself, seal it and leave it in the trusty hands of your celebrant. On your wedding day, your celebrant will give you each your love letters to place inside a time capsule that you will open a year later on your one year anniversary. You can also add other items like your favourite bottle of wine, maybe an envelope with money for a dinner out together, and you can have your friends, family members and any children in your lives prepare to leave an item or note in your time capsule too.
Then we seal it and the anticipation and excitement of opening it starts!
It’s a lovely way to really fossilise your special day.
Create Your Own!
Perhaps you’d like to merge a few of these components together and create a hybrid version, or maybe you’d like to create your very own ritual entirely! The possibilities are endless, and I am on hand to discuss what is most important to you as a couple. You might have your own unique pre-existing tradition in your relationship or family that you would like to make part of the ceremony, or a particular element that feels special. I can help you develop this and am happy to either take your lead or come prepped with a few ideas as a springboard to work from!
You may decide that rituals are not your thing at all, and of course that is absolutely fine! It’s your special day and the ceremony should reflect you as a couple.
The wedding ritual is there more as a flourish than as a feature, because the main feature of the day is the two of you and your love story, and the ritual only works to enhance certain elements if they resonate and have meaning for you both. So either way, just make sure to both choose (or not choose!) whatever option feels right for you.
If you have any questions at all, feel free to send me an email at hello@fullofheart.co.uk, and I am more than happy to talk about these in more detail with you.